Nursing Manners
Breastfeeding can help a toddler understand discipline as well. Discipline is teaching a child about what is right and good, not punishment for normal toddler behavior. To help a toddler with discipline, he needs to feel good about himself and his world. Breastfeeding helps a toddler feel good about himself, because his needs are being met.
When they pull your shirt down or put their hand in your shirt are both good things to teach them not to do. They should ask, not demand or invade. Unless they are hurt or extremely tired you don’t allow it. For a younger baby (under age 1) keep in mind you don’t want to do this too much. They still need liquid gold for growing. If they pull your shirt down, pull it back up and offer a hug. Basically don’t give boobs in return. Give them something else. Expect this to be loud. They are going to be mad! Talking to them is key. But keep offering hugs or whatever you decide on until they calms down. Allow nursing after that but put it on your terms. Ask them if they want to nurse and let them come to you.
This teaches numbers, patience and the concept of time.
Randomly through the day when they want to nurse tell them “Not right now, in 1 minute you can nurse. Let’s check the time!” look at a clock. Tell them the time now and what time they can nurse.
A minute usually isn’t a big deal for them. Especially if you hijack the whole conversation from the start. By the time I got to looking at a clock my kid was usually focused on my every word and the clock was so freaking interesting
When the minute is up, point out the clock again and then ask if they want to nurse and let them come to you.
The whole point of asking them if they want to nurse instead of asking if they STILL want to nurse is to separate their prior request from the one your offering now. You’re the one who is in control of your body again.
Overtime stretch the 1 minute to 3 minutes. And then to 5, 10, 15, 30, etc. I usually stopped at an hour and a half. And yes I made my kid wait that long sometimes. Usually it was never longer than 30-45 minutes before age 2. But it was very handy to have a 2 year old who could be told “Not right is hun, we will be home in about 2 hours and you can have bays (her word for boobies).”
As the time gets longer they are going to get impatient. Keep pointing out the current time and telling him what time he needs to wait to. This is a good time to teach ‘I know it sucks waiting for something but it’s just part of life. Mommy hates waiting too sometimes. You’re doing good kiddo.’ Or something along those lines. My daughter is 4 and she has no problems telling us she hates waiting or she is mad.
Distract, hug, kiss, book, drink, distract, dance like a fool, distract. Sometimes you will be standing and your kid will be on the floor kicking and screaming. Just stay available to them so they will learn that you’re still right there for lots of other reasons.
Only point out the current time and what they have to wait to if they LOOK at the clock or they are having a hard time waiting. Unless you are trying to teach time. Then go back and forth.
If they were having a hard time waiting make big deal out of how awesome it was they made it X amount of minutes and gently encourage them to maybe not get so upset next time since it doesn’t change anything.
